I thought I was getting somewhere, and then. My best friend Amy told me that he had asked her to be his girlfriend. I remember sitting by them in church watching him give her a ring made out of foil from a Juicy Fruit gum wrapper. My heart was broken. I am a people pleaser. I will do anything to avoid conflict with people. I was always the one who volunteered to do everything. And my classmates knew it. So anytime they wanted a break from the work, they all knew that they could call me and I would assume the burden.
I have a fear of failure. Anytime I am facing a new job position or a new project, I have this overwhelming urge to run home and cry in my pillow because I am terrified that I will not do well. Fear can be crippling. I catch myself imagining the worst rather than shooting for my dreams because I am afraid of a potential catastrophe.
I used to struggle a lot with outward insecurities. At times, I still do. The insecurities really started in middle school when every girl was getting boobs except me. I can remember finding corners in the locker room so that no one could see my training bra. I was never content with my clothes. I was insecure about my look and chose to magnify the negative parts about my physical appearance instead of finding the good. If you were honest with yourself, what are some of your own struggles, fears, and insecurities you wear? I Feel Insecure About. Why do we have fears?
Why do we struggle with some of these worries?
Well, again, a lot of the examples that I just shared with you trace back to a negative influence that a person had on my life. Can you trace your fears back to someone? One person who planted fear of failure in my heart was a piano teacher I had in middle school. When I looked at Bo, I saw Beethoven—a mad, brilliant musician with a temper problem. I used to cry before every piano lesson, begging my mom to not make me go. My fingers would hover over the keys, trembling like a bowl of Jell-o in the hands of a two-year-old.
I knew if I messed up, Bo would yell and bang his fingers on the notes I missed. But during the few years I spent with him, the more my fear of failure grew. Later on, whether it was a teacher yelling at me for an incorrect answer, or missing the last shot in a volleyball game, the disappointed faces helped stir a fear of failure.
So many times I have wished that what people say or think about me would not affect me. Do you ever want that? When I went to college, I met a girl who radiated confidence. Her name is Melony. She loved everyone, and everyone loved her. She was a natural leader with a lot of friends. Every time I ran into her, she would take time out of her day to listen to my problems, encourage me, and make me smile. She never wore the trendiest clothes.
Come to think of it, I never saw her put on make-up. She was so comfortable with who she was. I am secure and confident. How can we feel so confident in ourselves that our slouching shoulders straighten, our darting eyes focus, our fears disappear, our insecurities about friends and boys transform into a confidence that cannot be shaken. Sometimes I go through phases where I am bored of all of my clothes.
I get sick of my look. Anytime that happens, I go on a cleaning spree. I start cleaning out every centimeter of my closet, tossing out old shirts, shoes, and purses that remind me of the old look that makes me so tired. You and I are about to go on a cleaning spree. But for now, go pet your dog, make your bed, grab a snack—anything to give you a break from listening to me blab your ear off. Then come back so that we can continue our chat. Forgetting Deodorant Do you ever leave the house and forget something really important? I always forget to put on deodorant.
The worst part about those days is when I realize I am not wearing deodorant. I get self-conscious about not wearing it, which makes me start sweating.
I am self-conscious that I am sweating more than normal, which makes me sweat even more, and the sweaty cycle continues. The other day I decided to run some errands at the mall. I was a mess. I had rushed out of the house without brushing my teeth. Half of my hair was in a ponytail; the other half, well, I have no idea what the other half was doing. I just know it was in my face.
To make my frumpiness even worse, half way through my shopping, I looked down and noticed I was still wearing my house slippers! I had forgotten to put on normal shoes! Have you ever accidentally gone to church or school with your house slippers on? Maybe you left the house without socks, a belt, or your favorite lip gloss?
If you read all the fashion magazines, they will dramatize elements of your look that you have to have this season. Your real look is has nothing to do with those things. Your true, overall look is based on who you are on the inside. And, believe it or not, how your heart is on the inside affects the way you look on the outside. For example, have you ever felt so stressed on the inside that your entire look changes?
Your facial expressions are stiff, your tone of voice is harsh, and the way you interact with people is short and tempered. You are not you! When you are missing something in your heart—in the case of stress, you are missing peace—then your overall look changes. Forgetting your favorite lip gloss, your purse, or even your deodorant can affect your physical look, yes. But not having the essential elements of your look that God created uniquely for each one of us can affect you even more: God knows every accessory you need to make you the girl He created you to be.
For example, you may love to sing. He also knows that recently you may have been lacking some encouragement for your musical gift, so He clothed your insecurities with some kind words from your choir teacher to remind you to not give up on your dream to sing. He may have accessorized your rebellion at home and laziness in school with a little discipline from your volleyball coach. Maybe He threw in some hugs from your grandmother because He wants to teach you to love on others.
God knows exactly what you need to be the you he created you to be. He wants to provide for every element of your look. Check these verses out, and see how God not only made you, but He took His time designing you and your unique and beautiful look. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
Maybe your mom loves to cook from scratch, and because of that, you cannot stand the taste of slice-and-bake cookies. Maybe you were in a deadly car accident, so now you have a fear of driving. But what happens when a fingerprint is missing? Missing Prints Have you ever felt like something or someone was missing in your life?
Maybe you hate looking in the mirror because you think you are ugly. You are missing a fingerprint. Maybe you are never invited out on the weekends. Maybe you are struggling with your parents and your grades are sinking. Sometimes I feel more like the disheveled girl at the mall, walking around in house slippers with her hair in her face, than a clean, beautiful, confident girl.
Necessary Accessories When I was a freshman in high school, I remember blaming God for forgetting to give me an important accessory that all my friends had—a boyfriend. I thought it was unfair that they all had a guy telling them that they were beautiful. I thought it was unfair that they had someone to dress up for at school.
And I especially thought it was unfair that they had a name to doodle all over their notebooks. I wanted a name that I could write in bubble letters that would fill in the empty blank that I had on all my spirals: I pleaded with God for a boyfriend. Finally, toward the end of the year, I found one!
He was so cute, funny, nice, cute, tall, athletic, and did I mention cute? After a few months of dating, butterflies, and holding hands, the worst happened. He and his family moved. Did you hear me? My first-ever, way cute, popular, funny boyfriend left Texas for New Jersey! I was so mad at God! What was He thinking? I felt like he ripped out a part of me. He had taken away an essential part of my look, a piece of me!
Why would God do that? Looking back, I see exactly why God wanted to separate me from my boyfriend. My friends would brag about how far they went with their boyfriends, so I wanted to do the same. Search by title, catalog stock , author, isbn, etc. Jenna Lucado , Max Lucado. Product Close-up Max Lucado Store.
Add To Cart 0. Trade Paperback Book - Slightly Imperfect. Wish you looked more like a supermodel and a little less like. Learn what God teaches about beautyand unlock the secrets of peace, joy, and confidence!
Exploring the critical relationship between father love and security, Jenna and Max help teenage girls view themselves, God, and others through fresh eyes. Paperback Number of Pages: Thomas Nelson Publication Date: Take Your Best Shot: Austin Gutwein , Todd Hillard. True Beauty Carolyn Mahaney. Follow his website at MaxLucado.